How to Get Pegged: 8 Tips From an Expert

Pegging, Prostate, and Strap-On-Play Tips

I often hear from men about how their desire for prostate stimulation and pegging, is unfortunately mired in anxiety and fear. Worries of pain, messes, inability to relax, and performance anxiety. Most of this stuff isn’t common knowledge and can be hard to find, and awkward to ask your provider.

So, I have compiled my master list of pro-tips for you to have the best bottoming experience possible. You’re welcome!

  • Practice Makes Perfect.

Like every other muscle in your body, your ass needs to be trained.

Discomfort is normal if you aren’t used to having anything inside you, but serious pain is not a good sign. If it hurts, please tell your partner!

Go slowly, you don’t have to be a hero!

Try a set of trainer plugs and work your way up to your goals.

Gradual stretching and play can help you learn your tolerance, limits, and get you opened up and ready for me!

When playing solo or with a partner, make sure to use lots of lube – more than you think! Insert slowly, add more lube, push out a bit while inserting, then add double the lube you started with.
Remember— no silicone lube on any silicone toys!


  • Humble yourself.

Your eyes may be bigger than your hole. Don’t get defeated if you aren’t able to take something big on your first, second, third or tenth play session.

Let go of your ego and trust the process.

Please know your physical limits! And communicate them! Pay attention to your body.

  • Talk to Me!

It is important that you are in tune with your body and know what feels good or when something needs to shift, and be able to say it out loud.

If you need to change positions, more lube, take a break or to slow down, maybe the toy has shifted or you’re tensing up—say it!

I pride myself on being able to read body’s cues and non-verbal communication, but when I’m using toys, I can’t always feel exactly what’s happening. It’s up to you to advocate for what will feel better or what needs to shift.

I love to hear you communicate your needs, it shows me that you are present and that you trust me as your top, which is hot as fuck.

  • Let Go.

I know I just said to ask for what you need. I stand by that.
But also keep in mind that at some point you have to trust your top and let go of control.

You have to allow yourself to be a little vulnerable to get where you want to go.

Getting fisted, or pegged by the biggest cock, or the most mind-blowing prostate orgasm, may not be what your body or schedule is ready for.
Release any rigid expectations you have. Don’t chase the dragon; Enjoy the ride.

We may not get there on your first try, accept it and have fun.
Don’t give up: with regular practice and training we can achieve what your hole needs and desires– if we build it… you will come?

  • To Eat or Not to Eat?

Please do not starve yourself. Avoid foods that may create bloating or gas, and try not to eat any sooner than an hour before we get down to business.

Do you have a dinner date planned and are stressed about mess? We can play first, and go to dinner afterward, and you can enjoy your meal stress free.

Also, fiber supplements (start a couple of weeks in advance of your play so that you and your body can get used to it) can help to keep things running smoothly and aid in the cleanup process.

  • Clean Up.

Here is another blog post where you can get the low down on how to properly clean out.
My added tip: fiber supplements started a couple of weeks before heavy play will immensely aid your process.

It’s also important to remember that truthfully, despite all of the planning and preparation, sometimes accidents happen.

If you are really stressed about it, practice cleaning out and playing solo to learn how your body responds. Remember, the most important thing to do to prepare for pegging or prostate play is to relax. It is really hard to relax and get comfortable if you’re stressed about a mess.

If you want some assurance before partnered play, take a dildo, lube it up, insert and pull it out, if it comes out clear – you should be good to go! If not, rinse and repeat.

  • Pee!

Many people report a sensation of a sudden, uncontrollable urge to pee during pegging or when the prostate is stimulated.
It’s pretty uncommon that you will actually pee, I’ve never seen it happen, but the sensation can be alarming.

Know that this is normal and if you have emptied your bladder beforehand, you have nothing to worry about.


  • R E L A X.

It is the only way that pegging or prostate play is going to work or feel good.

If relaxing and staying in the moment is a challenge, try some breathing exercises. You can do this as much as you need to before, after and during.

My favorite: Take a deep breath in through the nose to your belly, followed by a long, slow and controlled breath out through the mouth with your lips slightly pursed, as if you were about to blow out a candle. Practice it right now- five times in a row. How do you feel? Get used to doing this so that you can remember it when it counts!
Huge points if I see you doing it while I’m bending you over ;)

Practice, take breaks, communicate, and let go.
Trust the process.

We’re going to have a lot of fun.


Further reading:

sex educationZoey Belladonnapegging, sexeducationComment