What is Tease and Denial? 7 reasons why you’ll love it.
It’s an acquired taste, one for people who enjoy a challenge, feel a sense of pride at overcoming obstacles, who enjoy the journey as much as the destination.
If you’ve ever been to a strip club, you’ve already had your first tease and denial experience.
Lots of men report that they enjoy the focus and meditative state it puts them in. You have to be present in your body and the moment – not just chase an orgasm.
I really love this quote from an Intro to Edging post at Killing Kittens :
“If there is one aspect of modern life that many may struggle with, high on the list might be trying to find a way to slow down, smell the proverbial flowers, and disconnect. If we can meter our most personal activity, one we may have always been racing to complete, we might find a new way of looking at the world. If nothing else, a better understanding of our sexual responses can only pay dividends when we start to share our bed (or orgasm denial) with a lover or several.”
Tease & denial can take many forms, so here is a quick glossary of common T&D styles:
Edging - a cyclical sexual practice (solo or partnered), where you are brought to the brink or “edge” of sexual climax, a second or two before orgasm, and stimulation is stopped. The process is repeated as much as desired until orgasm is allowed, ruined, forced, or denied completely.
Ruined Orgasm - By way of distraction, physical techniques, or stopping stimulation, you are brought past the point of no return but without the gratification of orgasm. Fluids come out, I laugh hysterically, and you relish in utter frustration with no release. I love ruined o’s! Watching your resignation as you realize what’s happening, your body twitching, the sheer disappointment and frustration coupled with even more intense desire — it makes me MELT.
Forced Orgasm - Just what it sounds like. You are not in control of how or when you are given an orgasm. It’s hottttttt.
JOI - Jack Off Instruction- You are told how to pleasure yourself, what motions, speed, rhythm, number of strokes, etc. It’s like a fun little game.
Chastity - Extended Tease & Denial play where a device is used to lock your cock in a cage. Chastity can be practiced for hours, days, weeks or years. I really like to use chastity play during extended sessions, especially during our social outings.
Why i love tease and denial
It’s such a turn on to be in control of your orgasm. The rush of power and pleasure from having your trust and vulnerability. It brings me pure ecstasy to take you to the brink over and over and over again. Hearing you beg, say my name, watching how hungry for it you become. I know you’ll do anything to get it.
Men are so used to being told “Yes”, I get so much joy from making “No” into a kinky game. It indulges my sadistic side. Watching you struggle turns me on and amuses me, and hearing you beg is a joie de vivre.
the Benefits of Tease and denial:
Be a better sexual partner. - Goodbye orgasm gap. Having an orgasm withheld can allow you to focus on satisfying your partner. In the time between arousal and when you are given the privilege of release, I can make sure I am completely and utterly satisfied. I’ve had many lovers say that T&D makes them focus on my needs better and makes them more giving in bed.
Achieve better sexual performance. - Edging can help to alleviate symptoms of erectile dysfunction, specifically premature ejaculation. It also will help you improve stamina, endurance, and self control. Some men have told me that it also helps their performance anxiety, they can let go and truly relax because it’s all out of their control.
Forge a deeper connection. - Giving me your trust and vulnerability is so powerful. Orgasm denial can be a very fulfilling part of our kinky dynamic. The longer you go without an orgasm, the deeper you will desire who is in control of it. The build up of frustration, passion, desire will become enjoyable, maybe even more pleasurable than an orgasm!
Have more pleasure. - Yes, an orgasm feels incredible – for 20 seconds. Imagine what it feels like to be on the precipice of one for *hours*. You can ride this pleasure wave as long as you want - or as long as I say so. Which brings me to my next point:
Enjoy better orgasms. - Your orgasm will be more intense than regular orgasms. You know that feeling when you finally get something you’ve wanted for so long? It completely eclipses instant gratification.
Keep things interesting. - There are lots of different ways to do T&D, it can show your dedication and obedience, be incorporated into humiliation play, or become a part of a reward/punishment system. It also opens you up to new experiences and gets you more in touch with your sexuality and desire. It makes the mundane interesting - allows you to find the eroticism of things you didn’t even know were hot. If you’ve been teased enough, you will start to see sex everywhere. You will find new turn ons, your own sexual creativity will expand, and it will make you more experimental and curious. It’s a gateway drug. A man in desperate need of an orgasm is highly suggestible. Cough *forced bi* cough *new shoes* cough.
It’s good for you. - You can finally brag about being a person who meditates! (Maybe don’t get into the specifics.) It’s basically sexy mindfulness– you have to stay present, pay attention to your bodily sensations, and communicate what is happening. And who couldn’t use a little more zen in their life?